Money

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Mentoring Tips

Make one-to-one mentoring easier by learning what to do and what not to do.  Click to learn more.

Tip#1 – Find your PLACE

  • Pray: simple yet powerful act
  • Listen: people want to feel heard
  • Ask: good questions foster productive dialogue
  • Consider: think slowly and biblically
  • Encourage: uplift rather than beat down
Tip#2 – Avoid the common mistakes

  • Fixing: this is a person, not a project
  • Preaching: walk alongside, don’t talk at or down to them
  • Carrying: show concern but don’t carry too heavy a burden
  • Blaming: no condemnation in Christ Jesus
  • Rescuing: you are not their savior!
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Scriptures
Hope
Help
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Conversations
Starters
    • Are you comfortable talking about your financial situation?
    • Who handles the finances in your marriage? How did you decide on that approach? How is that working?
    • Are you more of a spender or a saver? What did you see modeled as you were growing up in the area of finances?
    • How often do you discuss money with your spouse and what do those conversations look like… feel like?
    • How does your faith influence your decisions about money?
    • What discoveries or insights have you learned in the area of finances? Have you read any good books on the subject?
    • Have you ever made use of a budget?
    • Have you ever taken a look at what the Bible says about money?
    • Is charitable giving a regular part of your lifestyle?
    • Are the basic needs of your family being met?
    • How can I best help you right now as a mentor in this area?
Deeper Questions
    • How has your approach to handling finances affected your marital oneness? Brought you together or driven you apart?
    • Are you and your spouse in agreement or has there been conflict over money? What were your differences in this area?
    • Do you live by a clear budget? If not, would you like some help in learning how to get started moving in that direction?
    • How do you handle debt? Do you have a plan for keeping debt under control? How do you use credit cards, for example?
    • Is there a personal friend or adviser or you know who has a good handle on finances and who can offer you some insight?
    • Do you view yourself as an owner or as a steward of your finances? What does that mean for you practically?
    • Have you considered what areas of spiritual growth God desires for you during this financial struggle? Can we discuss that together?
    • Did you have good financial role models growing up? If not, are you open to resources that might help fill that void?
    • Would you say that your mind is generally more focused on earthly rewards or on eternal rewards?
    • Is a desire for too much putting undue strain on your life? Honestly, are you pursuing God or the “American dream”?
    • How would you describe the balance between “not too much” and “not too little?” (Prov. 30:8‐9)
    • What do you believe is the most important change that needs to occur in the financial area of your life and marriage?
    • What is one step you can take in the right direction and how can I help you do that?
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Resources
Online Helps
Other Ministry Links
Books
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Encouragement
Quotes
  • - Heather Jamison, Reclaiming Intimacy, p. 63

    “Many young adults faced with financial pressures don’t realize, as I didn’t at the time, that happiness doesn’t come with what you have but with how you perceive what you have. The ultimate solution to financial stress comes only through placing your trust in God as your provider and source of contentment. In the Bible, Paul had learned to be content with much or little. Young couples in new marriages have the opportunity to grow spiritually by developing the virtue of contentment.”

  • - Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Pressure Proof Your Marriage, p. 56

    “Contentment arises from a spirit of gratefulness and thankfulness. It is a courageous choice to thank God for what you have and for what you don’t have.”

  • - Ron Deal, The Smart Step‐Family, p. 184, 187

    “Money will always be a major issue for remarried couples because trust, commitment, and the guarantee of permanence are the underlying issues. … The initial stepfamily money management system needs to be flexible, not carved in stone. … It’s an ongoing process that requires compromise and renegotiation.”

  • - Crawford Loritts, Never Walk Away, p. 27

    “We work harder and longer hours to make more money so that we can improve the lifestyle of our families. Although we may improve their lifestyles, I wonder if we are improving their lives … As fathers, we must understand the truth that, to our families, our presence is more important than anything else–including extra money.”

  • - Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle, p. 9

    “There’s a fundamental connection between our spiritual lives and how we think about and handle money. We may try to divorce our faith and our finances, but God sees them as inseparable.”

  • - Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle, p. 13

    “When Jesus warns us not to store up treasures on earth, it’s not just because wealth might be lost; it’s because wealth will always be lost. Either it leaves us while we live, or we leave it when we die. No exceptions.”

  • - Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle, p. 59

    “Of course, money isn’t all I can give. Time, wisdom, and expertise are wonderful gifts … Giving breaks me free from the gravitational hold of money and possessions. Giving shifts me to a new center of gravity—heaven.”

  • - Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife, p. 57

    “It may not be possible to use prayer to avoid every financial problem because God sometimes uses finances to get our attention and teach us things. But your prayers will certainly help protect your husband from unnecessary struggle and loss. God’s desire is to bless those who have obedient, grateful, and giving hearts, whose true treasure is in the Lord. ‘Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also’ (Matthew 6:21). God wants your husband to find his treasure in Him, not in his finances.”

  • - Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 63

    “The only way we can consistently give out of love is to give our gifts to the Lord Himself. If giving is merely to a church, a ministry, or a needy person, it is only charity. But giving to God becomes an act of worship.”

  • - Dennis Rainey, Preparing for Marriage, p. 195

    “Because you are stewards of the resources God has entrusted to you, every financial decision you make is actually a spiritual decision.”

  • - Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 80

    “Instead of allowing money to drive a wedge between you, view money challenges as an opportunity to grow closer to each other.”

  • - Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle, p. 19

    “Financial planners tell us, ‘When it comes to your money, don’t think just three months or three years ahead. Think thirty years ahead.’ Christ, the ultimate investment counselor, takes if further. He says, ‘Don’t ask how your investment will be paying off in just thirty years. Ask how it will be paying off in thirty million years.”

  • - Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Starting Your Marriage Right, p. 69

    “I believe that God uses money to test us. He tests our faithfulness to His Word—whether we are going to trust Him to supply our needs as we give, share, and become wise stewards of the financial resources He has placed under our care.”

  • - Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 217

    “Nothing influences children more than watching parents live out what they believe. That’s especially true in the area of finances. Your kids watch how you spend money, pick up on your attitudes toward buying on credit, and observe your patterns of giving and saving. What you do with the money must be consistent with what you say about it. Your children are listening and watching you.”

  • - Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 18

    “The Bible contains 2,350 verses on how to handle money and possessions. You might be surprised to learn that 15 percent of everything Jesus Christ said had to do with it. In fact, He talked more about money than almost any other subject.”

  • - Howard Dayton, Your Money Map, p. 79

    “Every 27 seconds a couple in America divorces—totaling about 7,000 divorces a day and affecting some 10,000 children. Money problems play a major role in most of these divorces.”

  • - Ed Welch, Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave, p.111‐112

    “What if the addict is wrecking the family finances? If the spouse is working, she could give all her funds to a trusted friend who could manage some of the daily finances … All you can do is shield money in whatever way you can. In most states, the only time a spouse is not liable for her husband’s debts is when there has been a legal separation or divorce.”

Next Steps
    • Take a look at Crown Financial to see some proven advice and biblical wisdom available online.
    • Take a class from Financial Peace University, designed to give you a solid
      foundation in money management.
    • Financial stress is common to many marriages.  Discuss with your spouse how it has affected your marriage in particular.  Talk about how you might change that.
    • If you are a mom, connect with other moms on the MomLife Today blog for encouragement and ideas on money management
    • If you are a man, connect with another man you respect for encouragement and accountability in the area of your finances.
    • Pray and invite God into the financial area of your life.  Ask for His guidance and wisdom in making decisions about money.
    • Ponder this statement:  “Happiness doesn’t come with what you have, but with how you perceive what you have.” Discuss ways you and your spouse can develop the virtue of contentment.
    • Take some time to thank God for the things that you have and for things that you don’t have.
    • Contemplate the mistakes you have made with money.  Then humbly admit these
      mistakes to God and to your spouse.
    • Remember that money is fleeting and that your relationship with God and people are more important and long‐lasting.
    • Initiate a discussion with your spouse about giving—not just money and possessions, but time, wisdom, expertise.
    • Determine to “forget what lies behind” and press on toward getting a solid financial plan in place for the future
    • God sometimes uses finances to get our attention and teach us things. Make a list of the things God has taught you as a result of financial blessing and/or difficulty.
    • Instead of allowing money to drive a wedge between you, view money challenges as an opportunity to grow closer to each other.  Talk about something you can do together with a common goal in regard to your finances.
    • Read 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp to learn to embrace everyday blessings and practice expressing gratitude for the blessings you already have.
    • Did you know that there are roughly 2,350 verses in God’s word related to finances?  Search these Scriptures for godly wisdom found there. Start with the Hope and Help Scriptures listed in this guide.
    • Commit to trust Him to supply your needs as you give, share and become a wise steward of the financial resources He has given to you.