Spiritual Growth

Mentoring Tips

Make one-to-one mentoring easier by learning what to do and what not to do.  Click to learn more.

Tip#1 – Find your PLACE

  • Pray: simple yet powerful act
  • Listen: people want to feel heard
  • Ask: good questions foster productive dialogue
  • Consider: think slowly and biblically
  • Encourage: uplift rather than beat down
Tip#2 – Avoid the common mistakes

  • Fixing: this is a person, not a project
  • Preaching: walk alongside, don’t talk at or down to them
  • Carrying: show concern but don’t carry too heavy a burden
  • Blaming: no condemnation in Christ Jesus
  • Rescuing: you are not their savior!
    • What are some things you do in your daily routine to help you grow spiritually? Where do you turn to grow spiritually?
    • Can you tell me a little about your relationship with Jesus Christ? When did you first put faith in Him? What’s happened since then?
    • Have you ever had anyone help you personally grow in your faith?
    • What spiritual activities come easy to you? Which are difficult?
    • Do you attend a local church? How involved are you there?
    • Can you tell me about a time in your life when you experienced significant spiritual growth? What was happening?
    • What would you say are the biggest obstacles to your spiritual growth during this season of your life?
    • I believe the Bible is our authority/guide? What do you believe?
    • Do you pray daily? Have you and your spouse prayed together?
    • Have you memorized Scripture before? Which ones have been meaningful to you in your spiritual life?
    • What questions have you wrestled with so far that I might be able to help you explore and hopefully find biblical solutions for?
Deeper Questions
    • How do you think a person grows spiritually? What steps must he/she take? What keeps a person from growing spiritually?
    • What do you think being a disciple of Jesus Christ means?
    • Jesus said if a person wants to follow Him, he must take up his cross daily (Luke 9:23). Can you tell me what that looks like in your life?
    • What areas of the spiritual life are you curious about? Do you have any lingering questions/concerns you’d like to discuss in particular?
    • What have you learned about the role the Holy Spirit plays in a believer’s life?
    • What is one specific step you can take today to turn away from your old sin nature and toward a more spiritual life (Galatians 5:16-17)?
    • Are you taking temptation lightly or forgetting that every Christian is engaged in a spiritual battle? (Ephesians 6:11‐13)
    • How would you define the grace of God? What place does God’s grace play in your life?
    • Are you involved in a good, bible‐believing, local church?
    • The Bible says that a disciple can’t serve both God and money. Would you mind talking about the financial part of your life in particular?
    • Francis Chan describes a true believer as someone having “a posture of obedience and surrender, where a person perpetually moves toward Christ” (Crazy Love pg. 88).  How would you describe your walk with Christ?
Online Helps
Other Ministry Links
  • - Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom, Seeking Him, p. 89

    “Many Christians mistakenly think that once they’re saved, it’s up to them to live the Christian life—that they can somehow be sanctified by their own effort or ability. So they struggle and strive to be ‘good Christians,’ failing to realize that they cannot live the Christian life apart from God’s grace.”

  • - Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free, p. 195

    “Due to our fallen condition, our feelings often have very little to do with reality. In many instances, feelings are simply not a reliable gauge of what is actually true. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances‐‐which are constantly changing‐‐rather than to the unchangeable realities of God and His Truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly.”

  • - Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom, Seeking Him, p. 11

    “Revival does not begin when a struggling, wayward person decides to return to the Lord but rather when the loving heavenly Father, wanting His people to enjoy the safety and security of His love, calls him or her back to Himself. God is the initiator; the call to revival is a plea of love from the heart of God.”

  • - Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom, Seeking Him, p. 31

    “Humility has never been popular in the eyes of the world. If you want to get ahead, self‐confidence and self‐promotion are the fail‐proof prescriptions for success. However, in the kingdom of God, and especially in the process of revival, humility and brokenness are essential.”

  • - FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Manual, p. 9

    “We understand that information alone does not lead to life change … Life change begins as you apply what you learn.”

  • - Dave Harvey, When Sinners Say I Do, p. 44

    “There’s nothing quite like being a forgiven sinner, grateful to the living God for life, breath, salvation, and every other provision. It’s really the only perspective from which you can begin to see God, yourself, and your marriage in true reality.”

  • - Barbara Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Woman, p. 41

    “Prayer bends our wills to God’s will, which is what submitting our lives is all about. Prayer then is not about getting God to do my bidding, but the shaping and bending of my will until it aligns with His.”

  • - Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, p. 287

    “Repentance is presented in Scripture as a radical change of heart that results in a radically different way of living. As the heart turns and moves in a different direction, the life does as well. Anything short of this is simply not repentance.”

  • - Barbara Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Woman, p. 105

    “As Christians we are already perfectly acceptable to God through faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Christ’s righteousness has become our own. What is achieved through perseverance is not righteousness but maturity. This maturing process regularly involves testing.”

  • - Ed Welch, When People are Big and God is Small, p. 65

    “The way to eliminate shame associated with sin is to admit sin, be confident that God forgives sin, and engage in battle against it.”

  • - Kent Hughes, Disciplines of a Godly Man, p. 77

    “You can never have a Christian mind without reading the Scriptures regularly because you cannot be profoundly influenced by that which you do not know. If you are filled with God’s Word, your life can then be informed and directed by God … The way to a Christian mind is through God’s Word.”

  • - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, p. 125

    “The main thing we learn from a serious attempt to practice the Christian virtues is that we fail … If there was any idea of a sort of bargain—any idea that we could perform our side of the contract and thus put God in our debt so that it was up to Him, in mere justice, to perform His side—that has to be wiped out.”

  • - C.J. Mahaney and Robin Boisvert, How Can I Change?, p. 43

    “If grace does not result in godliness, then we have not accurately understood grace. God fully expects us to change, grow, and mature.”

  • - C.J. Mahaney and Robin Boisvert, How Can I Change?, p. 48

    “Character cannot be developed or refined in isolation. To cultivate a righteous and fruitful life, we need the context of a local church.”

  • - Lou Priolo, Pleasing People, p. 243

    “The ability to discern the thoughts and motives of your heart (especially when experiencing intense emotion) is an essential skill for the believer. Recognizing thoughts and imaginations of the heart is a prerequisite of bringing them ‘captive to the obedience of Christ’.”

  • - Paul David Tripp, War of Words, p.152

    “The grace of God never minimizes our sin, but it does give us a reason to face it, confess it, and forsake it. Grace is the only reason we have hope to continue our fight against sin.”

  • - Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Growing a Spiritually Strong Family, p. 18

    “Spiritual growth can’t occur in a heart that is too stubborn to admit its mistakes.”

  • - Ed Welch, When People are Big and God is Small, p. 84

    “Throughout the history of the church, emotions were always viewed with suspicion because they could vacillate so wildly. Now they are praised. Too often they are the standards by which we make judgments. When feelings become more important than faith, people will become more important, and God will become less important.”

Next Steps
    • Esteem them for acknowledging the need to invest time in spiritual growth at this time
    • Encourage your mentee to get involved in a local, Bible‐believing church for spiritual growth and accountability
    • Encourage them to begin a daily reading of God’s word and to apply what they’ve learned in the small decisions of their daily life (“faithful in a little”)
    • Encourage them to devote themselves to prayer every day as the basis of their love relationship with Jesus Christ
    • Encourage them to not see salvation as the end but as the beginning, and to offer themselves as a living sacrifice for God’s glory (Romans 12:1-2)
    • Encourage them to realize that though they may struggle with sin, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 7:14-8:1)
    • Encourage the mentee with Scriptures of hope and help, and ask the mentee to discuss those with you
    • Encourage them to not be surprised by sin, but to keep “short accounts” with God through confession and repentance
    • Open up to your mentee and tell them about discoveries you’ve made in the area of spiritual growth
    • Encourage men to get involved in a Men’s Fraternity group for accountability and growth
    • Point the mentee toward the real goal of spiritual growth—the glorification of God through conformity to Jesus Christ!
    • Encourage them to read and study and learn—Point them toward good biblical resources that can aid in spiritual growth
    • Encourage them to not live in the past, but if necessary to humbly seek forgiveness from those who they may have hurt, not as a way of making up for sins, but as a way of demonstrating the Spirit’s new control and as a way of bringing glory to God
    • Encourage them to be serious about waging war against the flesh and to put self on the altar
    • Encourage them to regard their former life as something to leave behind and to press ahead toward their call
    • Encourage them to believe that God has plans ahead that only He could envision
    • Encourage them to work hard at spiritual growth, but to also know that God is the ultimate source of life‐change
    • Encourage them to give thanks in everything and to view every experience as one that God can use for His glory